Many of us were brought up to be humble, not to
think of ourselves as “better” or “more important” than others. That means that
when presented with the notion of being the focus of a documentary film, folks
protest:
“It seems so vain, like I think I’m something
special.”
“I didn’t do anything worth spending that kind
of time, money and attention on me.”
“I don’t look so good these days. Do this with
someone younger and more attractive.”
While we can appreciate your
sentiments, you are looking at this question from your perspective alone. But
what if you looked at it from a historical viewpoint?
“It seems so vain, like
I think I’m something special.”
But you are
special! Your family, who loves you and wants to have you with them forever, wouldn’t
be here if not for you. That very fact, in and of itself, is a reason to pass
on your life story and wisdom to future generations.
Yes, we understand that it might be a bit
uncomfortable at first, especially if you are not accustomed to being the focus
of so much attention, but your family will appreciate the fact that you were so
thoughtful, overcame your reluctance, and took the time to do this for them.
Imagine how much it would have meant to you if
you had a video recording of your parents, especially after they were gone, to
comfort you and to share with your children.
Don’t think of this as vanity. Think of it as
history. By creating this film you are ensuring that your family’s history –
particularly the things that you know and remember - is being preserved and
passed down to future generations. Not
only will your children have this memento, but your grandchildren, and their
children.
“I don’t look so good
these days. Do this with someone younger and more attractive.”
At the risk of sounding like somebodies’ mother,
you are who you are, and your family loves you for you, not your appearances.
Again, if you had to choose between no DVD of
your parents or an hour-long film of them talking, laughing, and telling
stories at the very end of their life, which would you prefer?
Your face - wrinkled or not, with its crown of
grey hair (or no hair!) - is the face that your family loves. Your voice - even
if it is no longer as robust as it once was - is the sound that they most love
to hear. Give them this gift – put aside your hesitations and worries and
preserve a few hours of you for them!
“I didn’t do anything
worth spending that kind of time, money and attention on me.”
The average and normal are amazing. It is our very uniqueness that makes us each a star in
our own little universe.
Those stories about the everyday things you did
are what your family treasures. Whether it is the story of working in the
fields in the summer heat, fishing with your friends when you played hooky, or
how you met the love of your life, these are the most favored and valued
stories of your children. Not because they are best-selling tales, but because
they are you.
When you look at old family photos, I imagine
that you know some facts about those ancestors of yours: their names, when they
lived, perhaps even an interesting tale or two. But what is missing from that
photo is the essence of who they really were. What did they sound like? Were
they really as serious as that photograph leads you to believe? Are they proof
that your inability to tell a joke is hereditary and not your fault? Could they
sing? Who were they?
Only by preserving your image and voice in a
documentary-style film will future generations have the answers to those
questions when it comes to you.
“She/he is too ill to do
it now so we shouldn’t bother her/him with this.”
We understand and appreciate your concern for
the well-being of your loved one. And we will work closely with the medical and
care-taking staff to be sure to do everything possible to minimize discomfort
and disruption. If that means we have to film the interview over a course of
several days, we can do that.
However, we have found that sometimes the
opportunity to tell favorite stories - to be asked by a genuinely interested
and totally new audience to relive old memories - has a revitalizing effect.
Rather than causing the speaker to become tired, they are more energetic as
they think back on younger times. And those who have been struggling with
memory issues are relieved to be discussing times and places that are distant
enough that they can be confident in the accuracy of their memories.
If you haven't done so already, isn't it time to start preserving your family history, the stories of your loved ones? Begin with YOUR story. And then gather and preserve the stories of your parents. This isn't vanity. It's history.
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